En nou gaan ons braai!

**disclaimer** To anyone British that happens to be reading this, I apologise for the liberal use of Saffa slang.  Ask your friend to translate the bits you don’t understand. Make sure you are ready to braai, when you do ;-)

I have found myself trying to explain the South African braai culture to my colleagues and friends, and recently got to thinking….what is it that makes a braai so special to us.  Why is it not “just a BBQ”?

And that is, of course, the very response I get when I describe a braai to one of my colleagues…”oh we do that when the weather is good.  It’s a BBQ!”

Um, no. And FFS stop saying that. Please.

But what is it then that separates the braai from the BBQ….the men from the mice so to speak?  Why are we so bloody special that our tradition is so unique when it is, at face value, literally a BBQ?  I can say that a braai is so quintessentially South African that it is to us what tea is to the British. I can say that it’s a deep-seated cultural practice that harks back to the days of living off the bushveld and trekking cross-country in search of diamonds, gold and land.  But to the average, modern Saffa….a braai is so, so much more.

Why though?  Because there is a braai for everything!

The Sommer-Net Braai

 Sun is shining, you have no real plans for the day, the pool is sparkling blue after some hard graft to get it perfect.  The beer is cold. You happen to be at Spar and tasted a new blend of wors.  No real reason, you just felt like a braai….and so you do.

The I’m-just-popping-in Braai

You know the one.  You call your friend up because they asked to borrow that thing and you are just around the corner from the house (I mean literally just around the corner, not 20kms away) so you call up and check if they are home so you can pop in and drop it off.  4 hours later, all coffeed out, someone asks, “shall we have a quick braai?”.  10 hours later, you’re heading home, sunburnt and stuffed like a turkey…and you forgot to give your friend that thing they asked to borrow.

The Celebrate-Good-Times Braai

It’s someone’s birthday. Or someone has had a promotion/increase/dream job offer.  Someone’s brother from Cape Town is visiting.  Someone has a foreign friend visiting (score extra points for a foreign guest of honour, double that if they’ve never had a braai). It’s Christmas.  It’s Easter.  It’s someone’s engagement.  Doesn’t matter, but there’s a celebration out there somewhere and so we must braai.

The Circle-of-Friends Braai

This is a dangerous one.  A circle of friends, usually with a collective history (uni, school, divorce, or similar) who see each other infrequently….usually always do their occasional get together at a braai.  This is also the one where you will find yourself updating your profile picture at 2am to one of you in your underwear leaping into the pool in The Crane pose (thanks Karate Kid).  You’ll have Ubered home and will need to figure out how to get your car the next day (thanks to advanced home security, this involves actually making arrangements and the danger of slipping into another braai, as per No 2 detailed above).  This is also the one with epic memories and photos that you’ll always bring up at the next gathering.

The Office-Christmas-Do Braai

No, the company is not being cheap skate.  But someone, somewhere lacked imagination and was trying to navigate the awkward spectrum of cultural and social inequalities in the average office…the braai is the one thing that safely unites us.  It’s usually in the parking lot and someone will have arranged for their Boet to make braais from empty drums (best kind!).  It will also end at a respectable hour so everyone can get home, while a few die hards and career climbers will stick it out to schmooze the boss and drink all the left over dop.

The We’re-All-Family Braai

You know that time of the year.  The obligatory family gathering.  The time when your mother usually calls you up and tells you that she’s thinking of inviting *insert family unit* around for the festivities.  You have the most space, on account of her downscaling with your dad you see, so she was wondering if you could host.  There is no way of saying no to this but you can dictate the circumstances.  Dop n Chop it is…which is probably the safest way to navigate an afternoon of family bickering and arguing.

The Because-I-Can Braai

 The best kind of braai, because you don’t need a reason!  In fact, it’s a cure all for any of life’s disappointments or ups and down.  Bad weather?  So what, I have a carport/gazebo and I am just lus for a chop!  Busy in the garden and you smell your neighbour lighting up?  No problem, you always have a stash of charcoal and fire lighters just for moments like this!  The rugby is on and you couldn’t get tickets?  Never mind, put the TV in the lapa and braai while you watch the game!  Freezing cold outside? Warm up around a braai, add OBS for good extra protection from the cold.

And all of this is just scratching the surface, I haven’t even begin to cover how every family has their own secret recipe for braai bread, curried bananas, meat spice, potato bake…almost anything that will set you apart from the rest and get you a regular invite to a braai. 

That special invite that comes with the request “can you bring that thing you make?”  That's when you just know you have made it.  It's the Saffa version of being on a Christmas card list.

So yes, a braai is something that sets us apart from the rest of the world and their summer BBQs.  If you are British and reading this, if you ever wish to truly experience a braai in the Saffa way, you’d need to visit South Africa, but if you happen to have a Saffa friend, join them when they invite you because they will undoubtedly invite you as every Saffa knows, a braai is so much better when you have a friend enjoying it with you.  If you are a Saffa in the UK, don't let me down now, make sure to drop that casual invite when you get to work tomorrow.

And on that note....ons gaan nou braai!

Cheers!