What's in it for the kids?

There have been a few moments in our journey, where it’s struck me, really struck me, that the ones that have been most affected by our move abroad have been our children.

Truth be told, the kids are often overlooked in the move – we’re stressed to hilt organising every tiny detail and sometimes the kids get slotted into a little file that we create and they sort of just have to go with it.  I have secretly been horrified to hear that kids arrive in this country and are in school within a week because that’s how us Saffas roll.  

Parents, please go easy on them!

I know that long term, the benefits are huge for kids but I think as parents, we don’t really pause and think about what this move means for our kids.  In the case of my own, I’ve seen my girls mature enormously since arriving.  Gone are the days of being driven to and from school, collected at the gate for safety reasons, driven to every play date and outing, having every detail of a get together organised and planned, complete with emergency plan.  Gone are the days of limited and expensive entertainment, and an archaic school system.  Gone are their family, best friends and favourite teachers and (trust me on this), they genuinely care and worry about the ones they left behind.

For me as a mother, I see brand new people that have been born in the last three years.  Our kids stepped off a plane into the December wonderland of the UK and since that day, have grown and experienced so much that it’s hard to quantify what it all means.

That, and I no longer have to pay school fees…or provide stationery…winning!

Friends are the kind that you meet in the park or in town, just leave a note for Mom and explain in detail which park you have gone to and what time you’ll be back.  They’re also the kind that you make long term plans with, arrange sleepovers in a tent in the garden and plan birthday surprises for.  I must caveat this paragraph with an explanation that we live in a  small country town where we have far more freedom than in the cities.

Family outings could include world-famous sights like Stonehenge and the London Eye or 1,000-year-old castle.  One really cannot say until one explores.

School has a Harry Potter flair with houses and house points, but also subjects that are quite different and an education system that is first-world standard (although not perfect!).  Depending on the school you settle on, you can review the Ofsted rating for an indication of the standard, bearing in mind that these are sometimes a decade old and can be outdated. 

But one thing I was old fashioned about was that I wanted to personally visit all the schools in the area to pick the one I knew would suit my kids, because mother’s instinct knows best.  They ended up in a Sports Academy ( my kids are academic bookworms, not sports heroes) where they have taken part in rugby, netball, trampolining (that’s really a thing here), hockey, cross country and whatever else they feel like trying.  Girls or not, every sport is open to them and they are encouraged to try everything at least once. 

At school, they have attended the Sports awards formal dance, travelled to France for French tuition, been on Geography trips around the country, taken part in scouts and made lifelong friends.

No, it hasn’t been a total cake walk, there have been challenges and I find the education system difficult to figure out, but on the whole – life in the UK suits them.  Beyod the GCSE exams, which is similar to our matric, there is a robust vocational education system available for everyone.  Vocational courses and apprenticeships await those that aren't academically inclined and still want to build skills in order to earn a living.  Or A-levels in college or a school for those preparing for University one day.  Whatever floats your boat really and the decision of college vs school for life after GCSE becomes a project on it's own.  

As each of my younger two choose their GCSE subjects and starts thinking about a career, I’ve seen doors open even more that I didn’t even know existed.

My youngest, at the tender age of 14, was selected for the Vodafone #codelikeagirl work experience workshop which is kind of a big deal.  Hosted in key Vodafone offices, girls from around the country are selected for their passion in technology and are hosted at a 4 day workshop learning HTML coding skills and about the career opportunities that await them.  My shy, geeky, socially awkward kid went off into a large group of total strangers and came out beaming.  That means a lot to me. 

Girls be girls - rocking the world

The middle child, not to be outdone but the geek of the fam, has taken up the Duke of Edinburgh challenge. Currently working towards her Silver certificate, she is preparing for a gruelling challenge, designed to test participants on a physical, mental and emotional level.  No this is not Bear Grylls but it really is a tough gig to complete when you’re only 15.  Coming back from her test run, she was filthy, smelly, soaking wet, sore and quite satisfied with what she had just done.  Her mother is a fan of Obstacle Course Racing and absolutely recognised that glint of pride in her eye and my main thought was in two parts….The bug just bit you and this doesn’t exist in SA.  The Duke of Edinburgh challenge is uniquely British but to be honest, it really couldn’t be offered in the same form in the crime ridden environment of SA.  Young school kids walking around random fields without adult supervision, wearing high vis vests, following ordinance maps and camping on farmland, cooking their own meals are certainly not a sight anyone has ever seen in SA.

The picture says it all!

My eldest…whilst out of college age, has job opportunities available to her and so many choices.  During her time in college she too had work experience in Vodafone where she was able to rub shoulders and connect with key people in the career she wants to follow.  Opening doors and creating a network.  She's been to a music festival, knee deep in mud.  She's seen the Pixies live!  I mean, we can all pack it in now, that's just an epic experience for the child of a grunge parent.

Outside of that, the backpacking and pub culture is still very much alive and kicking in the UK and anyone her age could have a fabulous time touring the country while working.  What else can a not-quite-20-year-old really want other than means to make money and ways to have fun?

Above all, I’ve seen them all develop and grow and find their own wings.  

And I guess at the heart of it all, that’s the real reason we moved in the first place.